| | | | Information and Resources for Your Business and Life | | | | Inspiration, Tools & Tips! MARCH 2022 | | | | Persuasion And Influence
Skills you need to succeed
Survey after survey highlight the importance of influencing and negotiating skills for achieving promotion and career progression regardless of the environment. Influencing is much more than that. The ability to influence is a crucial skill in so many aspects of life–whether you are working in cross-functional teams, talking to a recruiter, managing external supplier relationships, networking with potential new clients or handling family issues. | | | | | |
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| | | | | | | | | |  April
| | | | | | | | | | Welcome back.
Have you identified your new normal? How are you adjusting? Please review last month's newsletter to stay on track. This month we are going to discuss persuasion and influence. Car salespersons and Amway representatives are not the only people who need to know how to persuade others. Influencing skills are necessary for life. Check out the information on how you can hone these skills and use them in all aspects | | | | of your life.
Also, as I do every month, thanks to everyone who reached out. I get more and more excited as I see what God is doing with and in my life. It is an honor and a pleasure to give you tips and help you learn from my successes and failures. Please stay subscribed to receive more information, success stories, tips, freebies and much more. | | | | | | | |
In our lives, we often have to persuade and influence those we have authority over. However, more often than not, we also have to persuade and influence those over whom we have no real authority. The question is, how do we do this effectively? I recommend a subtle approach rather than a more direct or forceful style. ( If you have ever dealt with me, you know I learned this lesson the hard way. ) If you are going to influence someone, you must have empathy. Take time to figure out how you can meet the other person halfway or further. If you are able to show how you have met the other party half way or further, or give them space to come up with the idea themselves, you will get support and longer lasting results. Successful influencing is about making a connection and appealing to the heart as well as the head. It is about identifying personal triggers and adapting your style to get the best results from the people you are trying to influence. A combination of communication and interpersonal skills will help you get the results you need. I have listed some practical hints to help develop your powers of influencing whether you need a decision from your boss, a peer to help you, a client to accept your new prices, or a family members to resolve confusion.
1. CREATE RAPPORT
Build a feeling of confidence with the person you are trying to influence. It may sound like common sense, but if the person you are dealing with likes and trusts you, there is a greater possibility that your persuasive abilities will be effective. This may seem strange when dealing with family members, but just because they are family does not mean they automatically like and trust you.
2. LISTEN Don't just hear and keep talking. Listen and show you are listening. If the one you are talking to feels valued, he/she is more likely to be persuaded by your point of view.
3. ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS Use questioning techniques to lead people towards the answers you want. The right questions also show genuine interest.
4. BE AWARE OF BODY LANGUAGE Mirror the other person’s body language, or if necessary, make your body language even more inviting. This creates a better rapport and brings calm to a stressful conversation. 5. SELL THE BENEFITS Sell the benefits of your argument. Not how it is more advantageous and better for you, but how it is better, period. Show the intrinsic value in order for the other person to see your position from their perspective. 6. BE RELAXED A relaxed and natural demeanor is more likely to achieve a successful outcome than an emotional or demanding approach. Demonstrating a natural confidence will help to persuade others that your ideas are good. Don’t be a bully. You win more people with kindness and a soft word than you do with force and pressure. 7. INVEST YOUR TIME Influencing isn’t a quick fix. It can take time to develop empathy and awareness, but you are more likely to get the best resolution if you will stick with it. The ability to influence doesn’t come naturally to everyone. There are many sources of help for you to develop your influencing skills. Check out some great online resources and videos, LinkedIn groups and, of course, training is always an option to help you hone and develop your influencing skills.
Check out the freebies this month. Use them to navigate your new normal. | | | | 
Business Application
As you work to increase your client base, minimize your overhead, and make more income, you may have tried many different strategies. Maybe you changed up your pricing packages, offered other services, or simply took on more clients. Did you have a lesson in Business School on the art of persuasion? Persuasion techniques can be
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| | Ministry Application
Persuasion and influence in ministry. It may feel as if those words don’t all go together. We have all witnessed how it can take a wrong turn if you are not careful. Remember Jim Jones and the deaths at Jonestown? However, it is still necessary to persuade and influence when it comes to ministry. There are two aspects to look at:
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| | Personal Application
Human interaction affects your ability to influence people. If you are not influential, you are being influenced. More often than not, you can either persuade others to help you or they persuaded you to help them. Most people are not aware that every human interaction involves a complex process of persuasion and influence.
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FREEBIES
Here are this month’s free business, ministry and personal tools:If you need any help with any of these resources please contact me.
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Please click here. You will find a list of business review sites. Click the name of the site where you want to leave a review. You can place your review on one or as many as you like. Each review will help me so much, so I am thanking you in advance. If you want to leave a review for a site that is not listed, please contact me and let me know which site. | | | | | | | | “Persuasion is not about how bright or smooth or forceful you are. It’s about the other party convincing themselves that the solution you want is their own idea. So don’t beat them with logic or brute force. Ask them questions that open paths to your goals.” - Chris Voss | | | | MORE From Business Development
extremely beneficial, when used right, to gain more clients, sell more products, renegotiate contractor services, etc. Here are some techniques you can start applying today:
• Reciprocity Robert Cialdini wrote the book Influence : The Art of Persuasion. In it, he teaches one of the keys methods of persuasion–the Law of Reciprocity. (By the way, this is a biblical principle.) The idea in the book is when someone does something or gives something to a person, then it is natural that the person feels obliged to return the favor. In business, it is also the same. It is a good idea to start using this if you are not already. What can you give to your client for free that will make the client feel good and also make them feel they should give you something back, or do something in return, like work with you? For Example: It could be as simple a free one-page customized report on improvements they can make that you put together for them. Or you could gift them one of your services or products, for example, a website checkup or an eBook, DVD or training video. Maybe you can send them a newsletter with lots of great tools and tips that they don’t have to spend the hours researching themselves.
What you do doesn’t have to be expensive, but it should be of value. This technique creates goodwill and actually enhances the relationship between you and your client.
• Start small but be consistent Your potential client may engage in a small action at first, like buying a single item instead of a package or signing up for a lower priced service. After they’re committed, they’re likely to accept larger ideas or actions you may suggest. For example, if they purchased your monthly service for basic SEO. The next time you approach them, you’ll have greater success in securing them for a longer-term service or higher-priced product. Why? Because they have worked with you and you delivered with their first purchase. Now they have more information and some experience dealing with you and what you deliver to make a judgement on investing further.
There’s a reason businesses give away free samples, especially for consumer products. Once you’ve had the chance to try it out, it’s likely you will consciously make a point of looking for it next time you shop and buy it. The same applies to you and that client coming back to try you out further.
• Social proof If you’ve ever bought a product that you did not know about before you landed on their sales page, saw their commercial or other advertisement? Ask yourself what was it that made you buy? You might cite price or what they included in the offer. However, if you are like me, what really pushed you over the edge and convinced you to buy was the testimonials. Most people read reviews to see how other people felt about the product, especially if they have no prior experience they can use to make their own decision. That’s why social proof in the way of testimonials, both written or video or reviews, is one of the most successful and used techniques in sales. For example: Displaying photos of your customers and their rave reviews on the work you’ve done for them and the results you got them on your website, blog, LinkedIn profile and anywhere else that’s relevant, is a surefire way to attract more customers to work with you.
The more influential or well known the person or company talking about you is, the more powerful this technique will be. Your reviewers are amazing endorsements for you.
• Celebrity Status You don’t have to be a celebrity to command a lot of attention, garner more trust and have more authority, but it helps! How do you achieve this status? By becoming the go-to person in your market. As you build up your expertise and work with bigger clients, use this to foster relationships with companies and clients you really want to work with by playing up to your status of authority in your niche or market. For example: If you are the one to call in your city, you can pitch your services in your state. If you work with the local Walmart, you can work in the area, the region, etc.
This progression comes with time. However, you can help it along with the title you use, showcasing your professional credentials, if you have them, and any awards or special training you’ve completed. Always remember to provide those glowing testimonials.
• The Likeability Factor If celebrity status seems a little out of your reach right now, what about the good old likeability test? Research has proven that customers are more likely to engage in business with people that they like. Though physical appearance has an advantage, your looks can only get the door open. Your personality, attitude, and demeanor will cause someone to engage. For example: have you seen the movie “Pretty Woman”? The store attendants were very attractive, and the store was beautiful. However, they were condescending and mean. They lost a big sale.
There are many reasons a person would choose to work with you. You have the same interests as them, have been on a similar path as them, have similar pasts they can relate to, etc. When all has been said, people buy from people whom they like and trust (which is why social proof is so powerful). When you can show your individual successes, testimonies, and likeability, you convince others to work with you. Being proactive, fun, humorous and passionate are also great ways to be more likeable and easier to work with and do business with too.
• Less is more Most people want things they can’t have, and that applies to your products and services if you make them more scarce or elusive. I’m not talking about making it hard to work with you or buy from you. Look at your offerings and provide a limited number of packages, deadlines for particular products, a specific number of spots available, etc. For example: When there was not Lysol, toilet paper and cleaning products available, the cost went from $2.00 to $14.00.
This strategy can force clients to act fast so they don’t miss out on something great, which is working with you.
• Putting your techniques to work If you work through each of these techniques and apply them to your current way of working, you will definitely see a difference and improvement in your business. From current clients who you can show an increased benefit by continuing to work with you, to new clients and referrals you’ll attract because of using the art of persuasion. For example: Only you can fill this in. Send me an email and let me know which ones most appeal to you. Don’t stop there, apply at least one.
I want to know how these tools work for you, please email me the results of your efforts.
| | | | MORE From Ministry Development
1. Leadership within the church/ministry Because of the situation with Jim Jones and the cancel culture in which we live, the use of persuasion and influence, outside of the pulpit, can be uncomfortable. We don’t want to be seen as manipulative or unethical. Therefore, when we need to convince someone to do something that they wouldn’t do of their own volition (i.e., teaching, sharing the gospel, witnessing, praying, etc.) we frame our request as a: • Legitimate request as the leader. • Rational persuasion by presenting logical arguments and spiritual evidence that the request is the best way to proceed.
For Example: Imagine for a moment that you need to persuade members of your congregation to experiment with greater musical diversity in worship. You could say: • I was reading an article written by an influential pastor, or I went to a church development workshop held by a recognized national expert who said that thriving churches offer diverse musical choices. • I looked at the numbers and the last time the congregation experienced numerical growth in worship attendance was when we used more diverse music.
These forms of influence work well when two conditions exist: • You are regarded as one having appropriate expertise in the area that you are trying to influence. • The values of those you are seeking to influence align with your own values.
Adaptive change in ministry calls for more spiritual and, albeit sophisticated, forms of influence. We are asking people to adopt new behavioral norms and to step boldly outside of their comfort zones. We have to appeal to the disciple within. Remember, we have leverage. Our orders come from the almighty God. Where he gives vision, He gives provision. Our influence comes from our congregation’s trust in God, not in us. If you want to influence, make sure you are developing you members as disciples of Christ and not your personal followers.
When you develop disciples, you will find there is no battle over the basis of the request. They do not have to trust our expertise in areas that they have not yet experienced. They trust God. Our ability to walk in this place requires skills in influence that move well beyond rational persuasion and legitimate request. It requires us to walk in faith, knowing we have heard from God on the matter. If we allow God to persuade us, He can use us to persuade our congregations.
2. Evangelism outside of the church/ministry The Bible tells us that in order for someone to believe in Jesus, they must first hear about Him. Before that happens, God must send someone with the good news. What happens when the servants of God preach the gospel? Hearts and minds are transformed and persuaded that the good news of Jesus Christ is the Truth. Our words have significant meaning because we serve a God who uses words as the primary mode through which He relates to us all.
• The Word influences by transforming minds The Book of Acts gives us a clear picture of the implications of having a mind set on the things of this world. (Acts 17:22-25) Some mocked Paul upon hearing of the resurrection from the dead. Some, however, were intrigued enough to continue to listen to Paul. It will be the same for you and those in your congregation. When the Word goes out from the pulpit, in the community, at the grocery store, at the job, etc., it will challenge the long-held beliefs of the listener. Some will mock, some will leave, and some will become offended, and even seek to slander. However, some will continue to listen. Their consciences will be pricked and it is the Word that produces that effect in your hearers.
• The Word persuades by transforming hearts. The transformation of the mind begins with the hearing of the Word through the lips of the servant of God. Therefore, it is largely the task of the preacher/evangelist/minister to speak a persuading word to the listener about the truth of the Bible. This second transformation, that of the heart, is wholly the work of the Holy Spirit. Jeremiah 31:3 - Amplified Bible 3 The Lord appeared to me (Israel) from ages past, saying, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you and continued My faithfulness to you.”
Jesus embodied the words which God inspired Jeremiah to write in order to transform hearts man. And that same influence is available to us. The unsaved do not need an intellectual persuasion that Christ is the way. They need their stony hearts transformed into hearts of flesh. Why? Because a stony heart is hard, unmoving, not submissive and disobedient. A heart of flesh is soft and pliable. It is able to be guided and instructed by the Holy Spirit.
The Word of God will accomplish what it intends to accomplish. It doesn’t return void, but does exactly what God wants it to. Our primary call is to proclaim boldly this Word. As we stand, we must not be afraid to wrestle with the doubts, fears, and insecurities of the unsaved. The Word is the only antidote for what ails human beings. Our task is the transformation of the mind. The transformation of the heart that follows is all of Christ. Let us be thankful that we have been called to such a task but let us remember that as the words flowing from our mouths, is the Holy Spirit at work. | | | | MORE From Personal Development
And being unaware, they are usually the ones being persuaded to help others rather than the ones who are influencing people to help them.
All successful people with personal power are persuasion experts. - They give a lot of thought about how they can get other people to help them because they recognize they need help to accomplish their goals.
- Before they act, they plan, evaluate their plan, and adjust the plan, if necessary.
- They define their goals clearly and then they choose the people whose cooperation they will need to achieve those goals.
- They think about reciprocity and what they will do in return.
- They achieve their goals of persuasion and influence indirectly.
The key to persuasion is motivation. Something motivates every human action. In order to learn how to persuade others, you must find out what motivates other people and then provide that motivation. Two of the strongest motivators in people are: • The desire for gain.
The desire for gain motivates people to want more of the things they value in life. They want more money, more success, more health, more influence, more respect, more love and more happiness. What we want is limited only by our imaginations. No matter how much a person has, he or she still wants more and more if they can imagine it. When you can show a person how he or she can get more of the things he or she wants by helping you achieve your goals, you can motivate them to act on your behalf and achieve greater personal power. • The fear of loss.
The fear of losing the things we value in life motivates us just as strongly and possibly even more so than the desire for gain. We speculate on the negative impact of the loss of money/job, poor health, social status, reputation, family, etc. It does not matter where a person is in life, the fear of losing it can always loom in the background. When you can show a person how he or she can create more security by helping you achieve your goals, you can motivate them to act on your behalf and again, achieve greater personal power.
When you are not in business with someone and/or do not have authority over their lives in any way, there are ways you can influence/persuade. 1. Influence using your management skills
One misconception most people have is the difference between leading and managing. You lead people, but you managed tasks. Influence comes in when you learn how to get the things you want/need to get done in your life without having to do everything yourself. You present a win-win scenario and get other people to work with you and even for you in the accomplishment of your objectives. Sometimes you can ask them to help you voluntarily, other times you may have to add some other reward. The definition of management is “Getting things done through others.” To manage your life, you must improve your personal power and know how to persuade and influence people to work with you to reach a common goal. This is why all excellent managers are also excellent low-pressure salespeople. You cannot make anyone do something, not really. It does not matter who you are or what position you hold in their lives. They are free to opt for the consequences of not doing it. Instead, you have to influence them to accept certain responsibilities, with specific deadlines, and agreed-upon standards of performance. When you can persuade a person that she/he has a vested interest in completing a task, she/he accepts ownership of the task and the result. Then you can step aside confidently, knowing the job will be done as planned.
2. Persuade Others By Becoming An Expert
When you establish yourself as the “go to”, people will want to work with you. Most people understand there are only two ways to get things done: do it all yourself, or get others to help you. Your availability to provide your expertise will position you to influence decision making. Your ability to communicate, persuade, negotiate, influence, delegate and interact effectively with other people will put you in a place where other people will provide you support, their knowledge, and even their money to get a job done.
Not only will the development of your personal power and learning how to persuade and influence people enable you to get things done, it will open up doors for you to be successful in every area of your life.
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